Rachel and Jake: silly hubby

So one Wednesday night a long time ago Jake and I needed to borrow the Cromwell's truck to pick up a coffee table and side table from Carlisle Beauty because one of the girls there sold it to me. But the horse or snow mobile (I don't know which) trailer was hooked to the truck. It was black outside but Jake has unhooked it so many times he didn't care. He pulled the truck hatch down to get something from the back and it slammed down on the trailer jack with his finger sitting there... I was sitting in the truck and heard him scream like I've never heard before... He then yelled, "I just cut off my finger!!!!" I of course was like, "You WHAT?!" He was squeezing it in his other hand and started running inside to his parents house. I ran after him and called the home phone and said, "Jake cut off his finger, get dad!" We got inside and I still hadn't seen it. I felt so sick and got sick when his dad said let me look at it and see how bad it is... Bleh! It wasn't cut OFF like Jake thought, but pretty close. Dad C., Jake, and I got in the excursion and rode to the urgent care. They took FOREVER to numb him or give him anything for the pain. I was so mad because the place was empty, they were not busy they were sitting around! And Jake was sweating and shaking it was sooo sad he was in so much pain at this point. I finally nagged enough that the doctor (an idiot @$$) came in and started giving him numbing shots. I thought Jake was going to pass out, it was SO HARD to watch. He was in so much pain. The shots were put in his palm, the back of his hand, and all the way up and down his finger. It was awful he was not gentle at all. And he was like enjoying the pain. He was a jerk. He said, "You can swear just don't hit me hahaha" No one else laughed with him, not even the nurse. The nurse apologized like 20 times about the doctor. He was nice. Then they kind of cleaned it, but not really. That was such a big deal because Jake had been working at a sewer flood all day and so he wasn't confident that it was clean. They took x-rays and sure enough he broke it nice and clean it looked like another knuckle. They did a HORRIBLE job stitching it back up... Truly horrible. We went to a specialist the next day in Rexburg who was like disgusted and asked what urgent care we went to and told us not to go there again haha. The next day Jake had surgery, where he would get two pins and his nail removed and a fake nail put in.

Jake is so funny when he wakes up from surgery. He is so talkative. When he got his tonsils removed I was sooo embarrassed by some of what he said. Now I don't care.

Click here to read the funny things that Jake said after he got his tonsils removed. :)

I walked back right after he woke up, he hadn't said anything yet. Jake woke up from his finger surgery and the first thing he said was that he was thirsty. The nurse went to get him water and said that his mouth felt that way because of the medicine that was supposed to prevent choking. It dries up his mouth. After her explanation Jake said, "So I can't drool?" And the nurse said, "nope, she's sure cute but you can't drool over her!" He said, "Whose cute? My wifey? When can I see her?" I said, "Jake open your eyes!" He said, "Hooooney! Thanks for coming! Thanks for being here! Can I have some waaater?" Haha!

He kept saying, over and over and over again, "So he cut off my finger?" And I would say, "No, you cut off your finger, the doctor sewed it back on and fixed your bone." He would scrunch of his eyebrows, but keep his eyes closed (hhahaha) and say, "No! WHY would I do that??" I would say, "Well you didn't mean to! It was an accident." He would say, "Stupid. Sooo stupid. Sooo stupid."

I would ask how his finger felt and he would tell me it felt like, "BAM! A hammer smashed it" haha and then I would ask how his eye felt and he would raise his eyebrows real fast and say, "The doctor had to get rid of my eye too??" And I would do that over and over again with all sorts of different parts- eye, nose, teeth, other fingers, toes, etc. One time I asked how his ear felt and he was especially dramatic. He said, "Whaaat whyyy did the doctor cut off my ear??" Looked like he was going to cry. I said, "No your wife bit it clear off and he tried to fix it..." His face drooped in like a wow seriously way, but the eyes stayed closed, and he said, "She would." Hhahahahahaha!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA! Really??

One time he said, "I wish I could kiss my wife." I said, "Do you want me to go get her?" He said, "Yes! That would be great!" I said, "Okay, let me do it magically... Abra cadabra..... Wammo!" Then I said, "Hey sweetie.." He opened his eyes so wide and said, "Honey, is there something you want to tell me?? Are our kids going to go to Hogwarts?" Hahaha!! I LOVE that he thought of Hogwarts in his drugged up state! It was so funny.

This one is a LITTLE inappropriate, but just don't let your kid read it... :) I was asking him all sorts of questions to get his answers and one of the random ones I asked was, "What is your favorite color?" He replied, "Naked wife." Hahaha! "That's not a color babe, what's your REAL favorite color?" He did his upset face, "It is too my favorite color! Have you seen my wife?? Where is she, can she come in? Can I have more water?" Hahaha, um, yes to all the above deary. :)

He kept talking really loudly and so I would say, "Shh the other patients are sleeping..." He would look annoyed, eyes STILL closed, and say, "Well why are they sleeping??" I would say, "Because they had surgery and they are tired." He would mutter under his breath, "surgery... tired... surgery... tired.... surgery.... tired.... Sounds like me." Then I would say, "Do you want to go to sleep? You can. Your eyes are closed." He always said, "I don't knoooow..." This conversation happened multiple times because he kept talking loudly. Then one time when I said shh people are sleeping he got super annoyed and said, "Well they can just wake up then!!!" I busted up laughing and said, "Jake! The doctor told them to sleep! They just had SURGERY that is a big deal you know." He said, "surgery... surgery... sounds like me..." Hahaha dork :)

At one point I said, "Who is your best friend?" He said, "Matt, Matt Crabtree." I was taking lots of videos, I wish I knew how to get them from my iphone to my blog but I don't!! But I was going to take a video for Matt so I said, "Yeah that's right, you and Matt have a serious bromance huh? Do you want to say something to him?" He perked right up, eyes still closed, and said, "Matt? Matt? Matt is here? Where is he?" I broke his little druggy heart and said, "No, Matt's not here I am just going to take a video for him..." He said, "Oh... Matt you're my... You're my best friend..." On and On haha I have it on camera :) He is so funny.

One time I said can you open your eyes for a second? He opened them and then they were shut again and life went on and like probably 45 seconds later he started gasping and said in a panicked voice, "I don't think I can open my eyes!! I can't open them!" I said, "Yes you can" He opened them SO wide and said, "Oh! OH! Phew! I did it." Back to closed again. Haha!

So when Jake got his tonsils removed and they took off the heart monitors (I think that's what they are.... There are three of them and they stick them on you like stickers on your chest...) Jake's reaction TOTALLY embarrassed me. Now I just think it's hilarious and if it happened again I would think it was hilarious. But I was so embarrassed! Here is the background before I tell what he said. So over the summer, before his tonsil surgery, he would wax my armpits, like for Bear Lake or swim suit season. It was awesome! But at first he SUCKED at it and it was so painful when he would mess up and leave a waxy mess! So one time he was laughing at my pain and I was like I'm going to wax you so you know how it feels! He of course refused. But when he walked past I dipped the wax stick in the pot and got him with it. So now I HAD to get the cloth on and rip it off before it dried and made a huge mess... Hahaha so evil. It was seriously SO funny though.... I still laugh just remembering! But anyways that is the extent of our waxing each other! That's it! Once we were done with summer I went back to shaving my pits! But for some reason he remembered that, even on sleeping drugs, and when the nurse ripped off his heart monitor sticker his face contorted and he said, "OW! Why did you just do that?? It feels like you are waxing me!" The nurse laughed and said, "How would you know what it feels like to be waxed?" Jake answered right back with, "Because my wife waxes me and I wax her too..." I'm like, "Uh... No... NO...!" Hahaha I was mortified. I said, "Ha ha.. ha.. ha... Jake, no we don't... That was ONE time..." Hahahaha! Oh man.... So this time she rips the first one off and Jake's face contorts and I think, "Haha! Here we go again!" But instead he said, "Owwwww what a mean mean hair pulling sticker!" Hahaha! That it is, lovey, that it is!

I have all sorts of pictures and videos on my iphone but I have NO idea how to get them on here :(

He now has the pins out and his finger is doing really well! His nail is so ugly but the doctor thinks it will eventually be pretty normal looking.

It has taken me so long to post this because I don't have pictures on here but oh well maybe someday I'll figure out how to get my phone pictures on here! There are pictures on facebook and instagram if you follow me.